Father's Day

This Sunday is Father's Day. As the girls and I prepare to celebrate Marvin, I'm reminded of one year when he was out of town. The girls were 4 and 6 years old. The group he played with at that time were ministering in Chicago, a four-hour drive from Detroit. I informed most of the wives whose husbands were in the group that I was planning a trip to surprise Marvin for Father's Day. I invited them to join me, but only one took me up on the offer.

I asked some friends of ours that lived in Chicago if they would call Marvin to find out where he was staying. Armed with his hotel information, Father's Day gifts which included a homemade cake; anybody who knows Marvin personally, knows how much he loves cake...we packed the van and headed west.

We arrived a couple of hours ahead of them. We had breakfast and hung out in the hotel lobby awaiting their arrival. When we saw the tour bus pull up and the guys walk into the hotel, we sent the kids out first to surprise them. My girls and the other little guy ran into the arms of their fathers. The expressions on their faces were priceless. They were overjoyed that we came to spend the day with them.

However, the looks on the faces of the other musician's whose wives decided not to make the journey, was priceless as well. Mostly with shock and also disappointment because it wasn't their kids hiding behind a plant waiting to jump out, and their wives coming behind them with gifts and a cake.

Grant it, I was just getting on board in supporting Marvin being in full-time ministry. If he had a doubt that I hadn't turned the corner with my attitude, that trip confirmed otherwise.

I continued to make many more journeys out to surprise and support Marvin while he was on tour in the years following. You've read in previous blogs how much I loathe tours, I just do. However, I was willing to lay aside my personal feelings and do what was best for our relationship.

When I said "I do" in front of the minister over 22 years on our wedding day, I didn't realize then how many things I really don't. I've learned marriage is a give and take. Whatever he has to give, or whatever I have to give is just that to make it work.

I'm grateful for many things this Father's Day. The number one thing is that 11 years later, we are still celebrating Marvin as a family under the same roof because we did not allow the industry to destroy our marriage or the future of our daughters.

I can truthfully say, it has been a very very difficult fight, but one that has been worth it.

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads who read this.