This time, he's not coming back

Marvin and I have been separated many times before. Not for marital issues, but because of his call to the music ministry.  He traveled the world leaving the girls and I alone for long periods of time over the course of 17 years.

Now we're separated again.  But this time it's permanent.   He won't be coming back to tell me how everything went.  I won't get the "just landed" text that I received every time he arrived at his destination. He won't be sharing stories with me about how the Lord moved.  He won't have jokes about who he sat next to on the plane and why there was a kid kicking the back of his seat the entire flight.  WOW! He's really gone!

I'm still processing and adjusting to his absence.  I can truthfully say I didn't consider this walk this early on in my life.  I've been married longer than I've been single, so to say this is an adjustment is an understatement.  I'm an "all in" person.  Loyal and dedicated. I believe in doing everything required of me as a wife.  I'm not saying I am perfect...not in the least.  But I am one of those women who made certain my husband and kids were care for by ME.  That's just who I am. 

I thought we'd grow old together.  We talked about the future. We talked about sitting on the porch with a rifle when the girls would bring their dates over to meet us.  We even talked about what we wanted our grandchildren to call us.

I am overjoyed that my husband is no longer suffering.  He fought LONG and HARD. However, I wish it were here on earth...still here with me and the girls.  I wish he was walking in his "head to toe healing" and telling his testimony of restoration on every platform and pulpit across the globe.  I know, it's selfish, but that's how I feel.   In reality he is totally healed and restored and I'm thankful to God for that.

There is one scripture that has been resonating in my spirit since Marvin left.  Proverbs 19:21 says, "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." Marvin and I had plans.  We planned to continue speaking into the lives of musician's and their wives to let them know that God is faithful and He can sustain and keep your marriage.  But God had other plans for Marvin.  His work is done, and now he is in paradise.  The Lord's purpose has prevailed in his life.

As I'm left to complete my divine assignment, I will walk in the purpose and plan God has for my life.  I will continue to speak into the lives of musician's and their wives.  I will impart and mentor women who are desperately seeking direction.  I will continue what we started.  And when the day comes for me to "go home" I will see my husband, and we will never be separated again.

God is still God.  God is still good, and to God be all the glory!