"Yes sir, Yes ma'am"

I grew up in Michigan. My parents taught my siblings and I to be respectful to our elders and those in authority. However, my mom forbade us to address her or my dad as "yes ma’am or yes sir". I don’t recall her reason, but it’s not how we answered them. We certainly didn't say "huh or what" either.

Five years ago, we relocated to Texas. "Yes sir and yes ma’am" is the custom of respect when answering adults and those in authority. Parents, grandparents and even teachers will correct a child if they don’t say "sir or ma’am". This was light-years away from the way I was raised. With it being the custom and environment here in Texas, I have learned to adapt myself to it. It’s such a part of me, I said “yes sir” to a teenage boy today at Walgreens before I realized it. LOL. I don’t have to think about it. It’s ingrained in me. However, it was very awkward at first.

So what does all of this have to do with being a musician’s wife? The Bible tells us in I Peter 1:3 (Amplified) “In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them]…”

The portion of that scripture I want to expound on is “adapt yourselves to them”. I‘ve heard Joyce Meyer say, “I don’t like that scripture anymore than you do.” What honesty! I love Joyce.

Adapt means to adjust one’s self to different conditions or environments. When we adapt ourselves to our husbands, we do it as unto the Lord. In reality it’s not something we can do in our own strength. We need the Lord to help us.

I don’t share the same affinity for music as my husband. There is music going on in my house quite often. It isn't loud and overbearing, but it can be heard. I like to use praise and worship music as a backdrop during my prayer time, other than that I can take it or leave it. Give me a good book or a great sermon series and I’m in my world.

My girls love music as well. My youngest daughter is a cellist. Actually, the majority of my extended family is musically inclined in some capacity on just about every instrument and some of them are renowned artists in the Gospel and R&B industry.

I would be doing myself an injustice if I did not adapt to the music environment in my home. I could walk around with an attitude, command peace and quiet, all the while, stifling his creative juices. Marvin listens to all genres for different reasons than the typical music lover. The creative being he is gleans from different sounds which is honing his ear to be able to master his craft.

It’s not all about me and what I want. Neither is it all about Marvin and what he wants. The Bible has specific commands for him as well. Marriage is a give and take and it always will be.

I’ve learned to dwell with him according to knowledge and promote an atmosphere of peace in my home by adapting myself to my man and his music. It’s who he is and regardless of my personal feelings it won’t change how he’s wired.